In honor of his twenty-first birthday, my son and I recently engaged in our first official “man-to-man” Frisbee golf game. Instead of simply reporting the result of this epic contest, I will describe and label three possible outcomes, provide the personal opinions of three individuals from respected professions, and then ask readers to guess the winner.
Outcome Number One: The wily and skillful father builds up an early lead on his youthful but thinly-talented son, and despite his best efforts, the young man collapses under the pressure of the game, and his venerable parent prevails. This would be called “The Happy Ending.”
Outcome Number Two: Despite falling behind early in the match, the incredibly lucky young man rallies to defeat his father by the slimmest of margins, mostly because the noble parent was twice distracted during the course of the game by having to intervene heroically in what newscasts later described as “major emergencies.” This would be called “The Tragic Ending.”
Outcome Number Three: The competition ends in a tie, probably owing to the merciful inclinations of the older but still more athletic contestant, and after the game, father and son affirm their status as co-champions by shaking hands. This would be called “The Hollywood Ending.”
In order to help readers correctly guess its outcome, I asked three people – a college coach, a public school administrator, and a politician – who they thought had won the contest. Doubtless the astute answers of these individuals will assist readers in determining their own.
College Coach: “I think that it is perfectly legitimate for student-athletes to major in Frisbee golf, as long as they minor in something with equal academic rigor, like volleyball, ping pong, or communications.”
Public School Administrator: “I think that technology is the answer to all our educational problems, including those related to games. By the way, what’s a Frisbee?”
Politician: “Frisbee golf is played in public parks, which are a socialist threat to the free enterprise system, as are public libraries, Medicare, and kindness. I don’t think that tax dollars should subsidize the frivolous activities of indolent bums, and I intend to cut all fun-related funding from my next budget proposal.”
Now that they have such a wealth of information, readers should have no trouble distinguishing winner from loser in this posting.
This article first appeared as the frame of a wine review in the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette on March 27, 2002. Readers will find many more such articles in the electronic archives of the paper at www.arkansasonline.com. I am the reigning champion of Frisbee golf in our family, and the same is true in the case of bowling, miniature golf, and quoits. In fact, I have never been defeated in a game of quoits, whatever that might be.