Dear Dr. Christmas:
It is wrong to hit Santa Claus! You are a very mean man, and I hope that your stocking is full of coal on Christmas morning. – Virginia
I hope so too! You see, I learned many years ago that a hefty lump of coal makes a very useful missile to hurl at the carolers who annoy me with their awful singing. Nothing cheers me quite so much on Christmas morning as the sight of a well-tossed piece of anthracite bouncing off the skull of a caterwauling ninny, unless it’s the silence that follows his shocked surprise.
Happy Holidays, Indeed –