Like Basil Fawlty, “I learnt Classical Spanish,” and not the sort of drivel that they teach in schools or actually speak in, well, Spanish-speaking countries.
A note to a female Spanish teacher:
Subject: El Hispanio Classico
I know that Spanish is gender sensitive (“la feminista touche’” – “a bitchy female grammarian might stab you with a saber”), and so, given your feminine persuasion, the heading should probably read “Herspania Classica,” but that’s a quibble (“el problemo minisculo”). My point is that I have been brushing up (“el sweepo skywardo”) on my Classical Spanish, and my most recent effort appears below.
“Hola!!! Me llamo Roberto! Yo soy muy inteligente! buena noche!”
“Dear Ditch: My alpaca’s name is Bob. Listen: It’s smart to drink soy beverages, especially with boney nachos.”
Pretty impressivo (“impressive”).
El Professoro Neralich – Linguisto Varioso