Proud To Be An American, An Elegy In Three Parts

Proud To Be An American, Part I, or, Why do we vigorously oppose theocratic fundamentalists in foreign countries but continue to tolerate the anti-American activities of the Christian Taliban in our own nation?

As part of “Pulpit Freedom Sunday,” 1,400 pastors across the United States will today endorse political candidates, an act that violates the rules for tax-exempt organizations, including churches. However, it is not likely that the IRS will act against these criminals (the correct term for people who break the law), lest the government be accused of prosecuting an illusory “war on religion,” as opposed to the actual “war against the secular, Constitution-based government of the United States” being conducted by indigenous religious zealots.

Jon Hubbard

Proud To Be An American, Part II, or, How ‘bout them Hogs?

Jon Hubbard, a Republican member of the Arkansas House of Representatives, has written a new book – “Letters to the Editor: Confessions of a Frustrated Conservative” – in which he suggests, among many other equally dubious claims, that slavery was “a blessing for African-Americans.” More from his book: “ . . . the immigration issue, both legal and illegal … will lead to planned wars or extermination. Although now this seems to be barbaric and uncivilized, it will at some point become as necessary as eating and breathing.” And from his campaign website: “And perhaps the most important pledge I can make to the people of District 58, the citizens of Arkansas, and to myself, is to do whatever I can to defend, protect, and preserve our Christian heritage . . . Regardless of one’s religious beliefs, if we as a nation continue to turn away from those Christian principles and values upon which this great nation was founded, we will have truly lost everything worth saving!”

Paul Broun

Proud To Be An American, Part III, or, “Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.
” – Mark Twain

Speaking before an audience at Liberty Baptist Church in Hartwell, Georgia last week, Congressman Paul Broun (Republican, Georgia) said, “God’s word is true. I’ve come to understand that. All that stuff I was taught about evolution and embryology and the big bang theory, all that is lies straight from the pit of Hell . . . It’s lies to try to keep me and all the folks who were taught that from understanding that they need a savior.” Broun then thoughtfully added, “You see, there are a lot of scientific data that I’ve found out as a scientist that actually show that this is really a young Earth. I don’t believe that the earth’s but about 9,000 years old. I believe it was created in six days as we know them. That’s what the Bible says.”

Punchline #1: Paul Broun is a physician. When he sends out a blood sample for testing, does Dr. Broun ask the lab to examine it not just for germs or viruses but also for the presence of demons? Does he conduct exorcisms in his medical office?

Punchline #2: Broun is a high-ranking member of the House Science Committee.

Punchline #3: Representative Todd Akin (Republican, Missouri) is also a member of the House Science Committee. This is the same Todd Akin who claimed last month that women don’t get pregnant from “legitimate rape” because their bodies have “ways to try to shut that whole thing down.”

Punchline #4: Paul Broun is running for re-election unopposed.

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