No Cause For Worry

For Corrigan Neralich

I know that my family, friends, and former students have been concerned about my recent decision to enter government service. For those who have not yet heard the news, the Obama administration has asked me to be our country’s unofficial representative to Freedonia, with the hope that I can help to bring peace to this currently volatile part of the world. While I quite naturally accepted this great honor, I admit that the appointment does come at a time of crisis. The current problems in Freedonia, particularly the tensions that exist between it and its neighbor Sylvania, tensions which on one occasion flared into armed conflict, are, to say the least, formidable. Therefore, in order to allay the fears of people concerned for my safety, let me explain briefly why I chose to accept this challenge.
Freedonia is an openly Marxist country, but its leader, President Firefly, has expressed an interest in allowing the United States to help solve his country’s contentious differences with Sylvania in a manner acceptable to both nations. To that end, he has enlisted the services of Gloria Teasdale, who is both a loyal citizen of Freedonia and a notably skilled diplomat. She is in constant communication with Mr. Trentino, Sylvania’s ambassordor to Freedonia, and the two of them have laid the diplomatic foundation for my mission.

Further, I shall be working closely with Bob Roland, President Firefly’s personal secretary, as well as with Mr. Chicolini, Freedonia’s Secretary of War. I have even expressed a willingness to engage in a dialogue with the mysterious “Pinky,” purported to be the leading member of Freedonia’s spy service, but he has never replied to my many messages, and rumor has it that though he rarely speaks he is nonetheless given to blowing his own horn. Nonetheless, with so many cabable assistants, I have every hope that my peace-making efforts in Freedonia will prove successful.

Finally, I know that many skeptics have already dismissed my appointment as a mere “fact-finding mission,” but I have some advice for these cynical people. When two parties are engaged in a conflict, whether they are individuals or nations, don’t underestimate collecting knowledge; sometimes order unexpectedly prevails.

And so I am off to Freedonia. I will continue to make postings from this distant land, and I hope to have good news about my endeavors there very soon. Until then – Hail Freedonia!

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One Response to No Cause For Worry

  1. Amannamedsam says:

    Tell Harpo I said hello if you see him

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