Save Your Time and Your Money: Skip “Prometheus”

I am sure that everyone is acquainted with the Infinite Monkey Theorem: Place an infinite number of monkeys in front of an infinite number of typewriters for an infinite amount of time, and one of them will produce “King Lear.” Here’s my variation, which I call the Infinite Stupidity Theorem: Place 100 semi-literate sixteen-year-old Americans in a room and show them “Alien,” “Aliens,” and “Alien vs. Predator.” Then give the adolescents computers and set them to work on creating a prequel to these movies. Within ten hours they would produce the screenplay for “Prometheus” – or maybe a better one. 

To engage my critical faculties to describe the shortcomings of this incoherent, pretentious, badly acted movie would be as pointless as trying to disperse a fog by tossing hand grenades into it.

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